The Challenges of being a Parent in one’s Teens
Indeed, being a parent while you are still only a teenager can be a very scary and daunting experience, but what many people tend to forget when talking about this topic is that parenting, as a whole, is scary and challenging. In other words, most of the obstacles faced by teen parents are also encountered by older, more mature parents. For example, it doesn’t matter how young or old you are when it comes to learning how to properly hold a baby, how to breastfeed, or how to change diapers.
That said, there are undoubtedly some unique challenges that are only faced by younger parents, and especially those who are in their teens. We are talking about things such as being judged by other people for being a parent at such a young age, having financial difficulties, and having to balance being a parent with finishing school.
Despite all these unique challenges, if the situation is assessed with a rational and calm mind and the young parents (or soon-to-be-parents) make a plan on how they’ll navigate the different tasks of their parenthood, raising a child (or children) can be a lot more manageable.
Furthermore, as a parent, you are morally obliged to do everything you can to provide your baby with the best upbringing possible, no matter how young you might be, so having a plan is a good step in the right direction. Below, we’ll go over several important points of consideration for young parents and give a couple of general tips to help steer them in the right direction.
Your relationship with the baby
Having a baby without being a fully-developed adult yourself can be very scary and make you feel insecure about your ability to take care of a child. This can, in turn, make you hesitant when it comes to interacting and bonding with your baby. However, it is very important for the child’s proper development that he or she constantly receives love, care, and affection from the parents.
Even if you think you are not ready for this, your baby doesn’t know that and doesn’t care about it. The baby simply needs you to be there for them and that is exactly what you need to do. Bond with your child through cuddles, games, or simply by talking to them. Even at an age when children don’t understand you, they can still feel the attention and care you’re giving them by listening to the sound of your voice.
And just as your child feels safer and happier when you bond with them, so will you start to learn more about their needs simply by interacting with them more often. You’ll learn when they normally need to be fed or go to sleep, and you’ll learn what causes them to be happy or cranky. This will both help you take better care of the child’s needs but also differentiate between needs and wants and know when saying “no” is the correct thing to do.
Ultimately, even as a very young and inexperienced parent, you can still do a great job at raising your child, so long as you make sure to spend enough time with them and pay attention to their cues.
Social life
The teenage years are a time when most people socialize a lot and need to be among their peers as much as possible. This is especially true about extroverted people, and if you are such a person, but you are also a teen parent, then you may find it really difficult to balance your social life with your parenthood.
The harsh truth here is that you won’t be socializing nearly as much when you are with a child - that’s just the nature of things. However, this doesn’t mean that you should fully cut out all your contacts. Instead, you should more carefully prioritize which parts of your social life are truly important to you, and keep only them. Obviously, partying every Friday and Saturday night will no longer be an option, but occasional meet-ups with your closest friends is definitely something you should keep doing whenever appropriate.
It’s very important to look after your health while being a parent, and this includes your mental health as well. If you are feeling lonely and depressed, your baby will sense it and this will affect them. One of the best ways to prevent this from happening is taking care of your close relationships with other people and finding time to socialize.
Parenting and School
If you become a parent while still in high school, this can make your life very stressful. Your peers and even some of your teachers may judge you, and you will certainly find it very difficult to balance studying and going to school with taking care of an infant. Depending on the specific situation, it could even be impossible to continue school when you are with a baby.
However, in all other cases, you should absolutely do your best to finish school if you have the opportunity to, no matter how hard this might be. Most jobs require you to have finished high school, and you’ll need a decent job if you want to provide your child with a good life. Besides, most of your closest friends likely go to the same school as you, so continuing to attend your classes can help keep your social contacts with them. As we already said, it’s important to keep socializing, and being at school is the perfect place for that.
Finally, if you truly cannot attend school normally, you can look into alternative methods of education, such as studying from home or being given reduced study loads. Many schools have special programs for teenage parents, so definitely talk to your school’s guidance counselors to discuss your potential options.
Parenting as a Teenager - Difficult, but Possible, Especially with Help
No one denies that being a teenage parent poses a lot more challenges, compared to having a child at a later age, but ultimately, the thing that will define you as a parent are the choices you make from now on and not your current experience or age. You can still be a great parent to your newborn - you just need to embrace the responsibility of your new role and do your best to learn about the best ways to fulfill it. The good news is that you can find a ton of help for younger parents. From knowledge bases to support groups and professional counselors to online teen parenting classes, there are a lot of ways to receive help and learn how to be a better parent, so, in the end, it’s up to you to make use of that help.
